It was mid march, my world collapsed, or so I thought. She was young and beautiful. Eighteen and I was looking for anything to hold me together. By fate or chance, I met her, my first love. I was in love or what I can clearly see now lust.
The first year went off without a hitch. We were moving at what seemed the speed of light. Marriage was often a topic as were children. I never liked the idea of kids and marriage and I made that aware in an appropriate way. As time went, on I liked the ideas we spoke of. I felt as if I could marry her on the spot. We almost made it 2 years.
Things seemed off between us for awhile. I tried to show affection, but her mind was made up. The night it happened was as normal as any other. But it would soon unravel to my dismay. She seemed nervous. She just couldn’t get it out. It was on the tip of her tongue. Tears started to roll down her beautiful porcelain cheeks. That instant my heart shattered. She said many things I could agree with. And many things that stung. I was depressed like never before for quite some time. What I got out of it was heartache and a lesson. I now understand that relationships need bounds and affection should be displayed. But above all, I will never put a woman over everything I stand for, everything I am. I still think of her to this day, and I know it doesn’t matter to her. I think I can’t stop thinking of her not because I was in love, some of the comments she made were seared into my heart and my mind forever.
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